Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

• Aug-2024
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• Aug-2023
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• Sep-2022
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• May-2022
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• Aug-2021
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• Sep-2020
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''If I''ve learned one thing,'' the late, great Father Fehily used to say, ''it''s that life, families and rugby balls don''t always behave the way you want them to!''

Looking at my life, I''d have to say, the dude wasn''t wrong.

My old man h...

• Sep-2019
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''One of the funniest writers in the land ... Schmidt Happens will be lapped up by fans'' Irish Independent

I''ve had some pretty bad New Year''s Eves in my life. But this one was officially... The! Worst! Ever!

My wife had just given birth t...

• Sep-2018
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I felt like I was living in a world teetering on the brink ... Life as a stay-in-bed husband turned out to be a lot more complicated than I expected. My wife was pregnant with a baby that possibly wasn't mine. My old man was engaged in a war with the...

• May-2018
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• Sep-2016
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• Sep-2015
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Like the great Jesus Christ himself, I had a lot of shit on my mind when I hit 33.I had three new-born future Ireland internationals to feed, a daughter in need of psychiatric evaluation and a teenage son obsessed with uncovering the shameful secrets...

• Sep-2014
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• May-2014
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Since inheriting a pile in Killiney, Ross O''Carroll-Kelly - schools rugby legend, lover of the ladeez and award-winning author - can add a new string to his not inconsiderable (you know what I mean) bow - lord of the manor. Downturn Abbey is the sto...

• Sep-2012
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• Jun-2012
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It was no country for young men. Or women ... Unemployment, emigration and do-it-yourself hair colour kits were once again a fact of life. Taxes were on the up, the IMF were on the way and there was a cash for gold outlet in Foxrock Village. But the ...

• Oct-2010
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• Oct-2009
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• Jun-2009
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• Nov-2008
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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is broke and out of love. His wife has gone to America, taking his daughter with him; his mother has become a celebrity chef on daytime television, with a particular skill for handling phallic ingredients; and his father continue...

• Jun-2008
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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly thought he had it all:Nice gaff, cool cor, plenty of dosh, a stake in Dublin's trendiest nightclub and a face that made boyfriends jealous. To say nothing of a beautiful wife and kids ...All that remained was for him to totally f...

• May-2008
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• May-2007
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• Jun-2006
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So there I was roysh, life focked, reputation focked, finances focked - everything completely focked, roysh, and we're talking big time. And it's all Fionn's fault, basically. He's the four-eyed focker who told me that, like, the first time you do it...

• Nov-2004
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So there I was, roysh, twenty-three years of age, still, like, gorgeous and rich, living off my legend as a schools rugby player, scoring the birds, being the man, when all of a sudden, roysh, life becomes a total mare. I don't have a Betty Blue what...

• Jun-2004
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So there I was, roysh, putting the 'in' in 'in crowd', hanging out, pick of the babes, bills from the old pair to fund the lifestyle I, like, totally deserve. But being a schools rugby legend has its downsides, roysh, like all the total knobs wanting...

• Sep-2003
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So there I was, roysh, class legend, schools rugby legend, basically all-round legend, when someone decides you can't, like, sit the Leaving Cert four times. Well that put a focking spanner in the works.

But joining the goys ...

• Mar-2003
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So there I was, roysh, enjoying college life, college birds and, like, a major amount of socialising. Then, roysh, the old pair decide to mess everything up for me. And we're talking totally here. Don't ask me what they were thinking. I hadn't, like,...