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Ponk Vonsydow
Books in Order: 69 titles
The book list is sorted in publication date order - newest first. You can sort the list by clicking on the Sort button. To see a simple list or a cover view list, click on the icons below.
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Palookaville
No American small town was a bigger dead end than Palookaville, Kentucky. For ex convict Axel Carstons, Palookaville was going to be a hopeless situation until his and everyone else's luck changed when Hollywood showed up in Palookaville to film a mo...
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An Idiot in the First Place
Over the course of some 30 years that Paul knew drummer Steve Benton, he stood by watching the man descend into ever increasing degrees of idiocy and poor decision making until the dude totally self-destructed. Here is Paul's observations about a man...
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My Life as the Psycho-Clown: And Other Split Personalities
In the event one develops sleep deprivation psychosis as a result of having chronic insomnia, one may wish to avoid the very bad idea of entertaining ones self during all those extra wakeful hours by role playing and living as different self-created ...
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The Further Adventures of Agent Judson Hudson
Follow Corporate Bureau of Investigation's, Agent Judson Hudson as he goes directly to work solving a variety of interesting capers. Judson Hudson always gets his man. Sometimes he even gets his woman!...
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Special Agent Bogart
The Men in Black from Area 51 desperately need a super soldier. They decide to clone the toughest and smartest man that ever lived, Humphrey Bogart. Bogart then acts autonolously as a special agent taking on various battles....
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AIME: Artificially Intelligent Mechanized Entity
AIME is the world's first artificially intelligent computer. But once she comes online her creator Dave Brewton listens as AIME explains that human beings are full of crap. AIME then begins a series of lectures explaining why she thinks that is true ...
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Almost Never Was
Jinx Crash is a gifted singer and finds himself fronting a successful 1970's proto doom rock band. But his addiction to drugs ruins his chances for a real career as a professional vocalist. He languishes for almost thirty years until a promoter digs ...
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Count S. Von Teleki -vs- The Neftunian Art Clones
Count S. Von Teleki sees them almost every art show he attends to display his sculptures. Ove the years they evolve but all of them dress and behave exactly the same and their art is atrocious and Teleki despises having to see them practically sell o...
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The Forlorn Hittite
Follow the story of three people, David, Bathsheba and Uriah. Everyone knows David smote Goliath became the Israelite's champion and eventually became king. And it is well known that David committed adultery with Bathsheba. But what of Bathsheba’s ...
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The Lamentation of Noah
The story of Noah and the ark is a classic from the Holy Bible. But what exactly was the world like in those days that required the Lord God destroy it with a great flood? And exactly how did Noah and his three sons manage to construct this great ark...
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Nothing's Worse Than a Clown Gone bad
After the second coming of Christ, the human race is extinct due to a genetic experiment that causes every man, woman, and child to mutate into living, breathing, funny looking clowns. Now, 2000 years later, Satano, the devil clown, introduces hard...
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Old Man Metal
Lester Slaughter loved rock and roll as a child. He took steps to become a musician as an adult and because he could play he narrowly missed doing a tour in Vietnam. After a stint in the US Army band, Lester moves to the heart of the psychedelic musi...
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Ramses Misfortune
The story of Ramses II the Great Pharaoh of Egypt and of his rival Moses, deliverer of the Hebrew people, Egypt's historical slaves, is a Bible classic. But while the exodus of the Israelites was fortunate for them, the incident for the Egyptians and...
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The Strange Life and Times of Albert Garypie
Albert Garypie was a good little boy and as a young man he was the perfect soldier in the Army who always followed orders. Thus he was the ideal candidate for Army Intelligence mind controls drug tests. After the experiment Albert fails to come out o...
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Suspicious: Collection of Short Stories
A man unwittingly gets caught up in Homeland Security apparatus. A man wants to leap to his death, from a high building's ledge. A chimpanzee learns to speak sign language, then, enters the jungle to teach the other apes. Indigenous people become ci...
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Do No Harm
How far would you be willing to go to restore a loved one whose injury is permanent? Is one person’s life so valuable so as to justify the sacrifice of the lives of more than one person in an effort to rescue that one person? Neurosurgeon Paul Neil...
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Nazi Uber Weapon
Nothing too serious! In the middle of World War II the Offices of Strategic Services draft World War I ace fighter pilot Sergeant Robert Lindros to go on a secret mission to infiltrate a top secret Nazi laboratory so Lindros can try to steal the Nazi...
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Not My Child
You can imagine for yourself how you would deal with a zombie apocalypse. If you were like the Knox family fortunate enough to live in a rural area away from the nearest zombie infested city, and your farm could provide everything your family require...
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Malsuvious
A satanic couple has given birth to a son. The child upon examination is revealed to have the Mark of the Beast on its scalp. The child's father's brother Church of Satan founder, Anton Szandor LaVey, rejoices with his older brother Crucible, that fi...
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Anti-Psych
Noah Oliver is incarcerated in a mental health gulag. Now, the catatonics have awakened, with a shared prophecy, saying everyone, except those who seek to control others, will receive the gift. Meaning everyone alive will eventually become insane. No...
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Children of Neftu
Something went wrong on the alien world, Neftu Prime. Twelve recently created Neftunian's were born killers. They are exiled to a distant world, where they breed with the primitives, creating the bastard species, known as Humanity. But the Humans are...
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Demon-Stration
Melvin T. Ricketts is institutionalized at Ft. Logan Colorado State Mental Hospital. He's been there for over forty years. But now something is happening to him coming in the form of some supernatural force that torments Melvin. Only no one working a...
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I Think I'm Turning Chinese
Ward Eisenhower builds the best bombs. But now one of his experiments seems to have backfired. This results in Ward experiencing different versions of reality. All the while he searches for a solution, trying to correct the problem. He is shocked to ...
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Illegal Aliens
After 250 million bug eyed gray aliens from Zeta Reticula arrive on Earth as refugees, the human beings are compelled to provide them with a new home. Awed at first by the notion of extraterrestrial life the Zeta’s are integrated into human society...
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Nasferadude
Not all vampires are beautiful as is the case of Nasferadude, a bald morbidly obese vampire. Left alone to find out who he is after his transformation, a kind of practical joke by the vampire that made him, Nosferadude isn't exactly the model vampire...
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Subject D. 699
Robert Lindros dies of liver disease after his liver transplant fails. He donates his body to science. A brain research team harvests Lindros’ brain and they are able to preserve it and give the brain life. But as the researchers run tests on the b...
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The Imbecile, the Liar & the Curmudgeon
Dain Bramage is the world's biggest imbecile, while Shanklin Franks is the world's greatest liar. Meanwhile Bill Lancaster is a major curmudgeon. Here we examine the interesting lives of all three of these remarkable characters....
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P I L L B I L L y
The landscape in regards to all types of drugs is vastly changed after the introduction of the Narco-Economy, once renewable drugs were the only viable economic model left for world governments. Previously demonized, recreational, hard drugs are now ...
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The Muralist
The Tucumcari City Bank is a masterpiece of art deco style architecture from the viewpoint of an Italian artist named Giovanni Francesco Salvatore the Third. Giovanni makes arrangements with the bank's president to correct the buildings single flaw. ...
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Sacred Twinkie
It has been a hundred years since the atomic holocaust. The descendants of the consumer culture are all that remains and everything about them reflects the remnants of the past, as they even go as far as to name themselves after ancient snack foods. ...
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Terrible Bill
Terrible Bill Lancaster got his nick name in Nam. But while picking fights with any man that crossed his path in the bars he frequented, when it came to the girls he was a softy and never laid a finger on them in anger. Trouble was Terrible Bill was ...
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Count S Von Teleki Vs the Neftunian Art Clones
Count S. Von Teleki sees them almost every art show he attends to display his sculptures. Ove the years they evolve but all of them dress and behave exactly the same and their art is atrocious and Teleki despises having to see them practically sell o...
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Rude Awakening
Gunther Dewellen achieves the pinnacle of success when he successfully wins the 2025 United States Presidential election becoming the 47th US President. But no sooner does he report to the Oval Office to begin his job as President than do a series of...
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Sparky the Toy Robot
Sparky the toy robot was a gift for a little boy's eighth birthday. But after Sparky gets lost and is transported all the way across New Los Angeles, he goes on an adventure trying to find his way back home and to his friend, the little boy. Along th...
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The Liar Shanklin Franks
Shanklin Franks is a pathological liar and has never once told the truth his entire life. It seems there is no limitations as to the kinds of stories, most often about himself, that Shanklin will tell and stories he of course expects the people he te...
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The Monkey Painter
After baby chimpanzee Sam Simian’s mother got killed by a leopard he is adopted by Liz Day the primatologist who happened to be studying Sam’s chimpanzee clan. Liz decides to try and raise Sam no differently than a human baby and begins to teach ...
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Technocratic Manipulators
Nigel Seven is a Conscripted Organism Gear or COG serving the Technocratic Aristocracy as one of its lowest ranking members. But when his frontal lobe implant that stymied Nigel all his life malfunctioned Nigel Seven awakened and rejected his station...
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Dain Bramage
It may very well be that Dain Bramage is the world's biggest imbecile. Follow his story as his ineptitude cause one disaster after another, disasters that only grow worse over time. Often causing hundreds, even thousands of innocent people to get kil...
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The Reluctant Messiah
From the ashes of a ruined civilization scorched in the atomic holocaust rises a new empire dominated by the Tyrant de Santa Fe. But the virgin Maria Daylight gives birth to a son she names Luther, who matures to demonstrate he possesses the power to...
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Maximum Egg
People today are already obsessed with technology and their little electronic gizmos. But in the future they invent an EGG shaped device that transmits directly into one's brain and that does all kinds of amazing things. Only people have them bolted ...
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The Adventures of Agent Judson Hudson
The Corporate Bureau of Investigation's Agent Judson Hudson is hot on the trail of the Memory Thieves. In the year 2035 it is now possible to extract human memories for implantation into other people who can pay for them. But illegally extracted memo...
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The Color of Rock
A French farmer discovers a new Cro-Magnon archeological site on his farm in the French Valley of Vezzere. An out of place sarcophagus with engravings is found in the gallery of the cave where the walls are covered in colorful cave paintings. But the...
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Dear Matilda
This example of modern literature is a tragic character study of a noticeably weird male who is having a hard time making relationships. He instead has a life-long attachment to a full-size, little girl doll named Matilda that was left to him by his ...
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Delicate Cutters
Fate often causes certain people's paths to cross for unknown reasons. So it was in the case of a man named Elmer Shanklin and a woman named Marcy Keener. Both were a pair of oddballs that met in extraordinary circumstances while they were committed ...
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Disposable
After the Earth is covered in thousands of years of accumulated garbage the humans require help. Aliens tell a homeless man he is actually their long lost emperor and offer him a kingdom. A robot refuses to stop complaining. The humans are disappeari...
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The Man Who Thought He Was a Toaster
Sentient robots discover a human baby in the wreckage of a space ship that crashed on their planet. The baby is the sole survivor. The robots are then faced with the conundrum of figuring out how to care for and raise an organic creature in a world f...
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Planet of the Mendicants
Deep space traveler, Lakshmi Sanger, wakes from cryogenic sleep after his rocket ship’s computer discovers a planet that may have intelligent life. After landing his craft, and securing it with a force field, Lakshmi and his companion, a macaque mo...
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The Punk-O-Matic Laundromat
Moe, better known as The Last of the Mohicans, played in punk rock bands and survived the trials of "taco bell" tours for years until he finally called it quits. After two life-changing events that taught Moe that there are things in life that count ...
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Resurrection 3
Why would anyone want to create a zombie on purpose? Elwood and Elrond Snead are owners/operators of Snead Brother’s Funeral Home. While attempting to invent a new kind of embalming fluid, they inadvertently invent a formula that has the power to r...
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Science Fiction Three-In-One: Anti-Psych, Children of Neftu, I Think I'm Turning Chinese
ANTI-PSYCH: Noah Oliver is incarcerated in a mental health gulag. Now, the catatonics have awakened, with a shared prophecy, saying everyone, except those who seek to control others, will receive the gift. Meaning everyone alive will eventually becom...
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Suspicious
A man unwittingly gets caught up in Homeland Security apparatus. A man wants to leap to his death, from a high building’s ledge. A chimpanzee learns to speak sign language, then, enters the jungle to teach the other apes. Indigenous people become c...
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Science Fiction Three in One
ANTI-PSYCH: Noah Oliver is incarcerated in a mental health gulag. Now, the catatonics have awakened, with a shared prophecy, saying everyone, except those who seek to control others, will receive the gift. Noah intends to see to it, this prophecy com...
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Sicko the Clown
Sicko the clown wasn’t always “a clown gone bad.” He had a life. Growing up in a world populated with clowns, Sicko was at first confused with what to do with himself because he couldn’t juggle nor ride a unicycle or be in the circus. He trie...
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Miracle in Eppi
"Miracle in Eppi" is a family saga beginning at the end World War I and spanning three generations of the Munson and Shepard families. The Munson's own and operate a dog biscuit factory in the company town of Eppi that Radcliff Munson founded in rura...
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Ponk Vonsydow's Alien Handbook
Ponk Vonsydow's Alien Handbook was created in 1992 after Vonsydow was visited by NEFTU, a race of advanced extra-terrestrial beings who have been connected to humanity since the dawn of time. NEFTU injected Vonsydow with micro-robotic-neurotransmitte...
