The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny — Richard Raley

***An Urban Fantasy series for fans of JIM BUTCHER, RICHARD KADREY, and KEVIN HEARNE***

My name is King Henry Price.

Yes, really. Still here. Still alive. Still running my Artificer shop. Got me a girlfriend now. Got a decent life for maybe the first time during my stay on this messed up little planet we call Earth. Better Earth than one of the other Realms I suppose . . . but that was last time around, wasn't it?

This time around . . . well, got me kidnapped again. Annie B is back! Pulling all her old moves. Kidnapping me, trying to seduce me more than ever, especially since I got said girlfriend now and Annie does love breaking up a happy couple. Never trust the pretty ones and NEVER trust a vampire.

Ain't sparkly like all them romance novels you read. Ain't even got fangs actually. Just blood parasites living in a human shell. All that pretty ain't alive, just a suit for them to wear and what you know, the most rich and power of them slide in and out of those body suits just like we humans do our Sunday best.

Yeah, disgusting, that's why you don't trust them. Vampires always get more disgusting. More you know, worse it gets. This time with Annie, thinking I'm gonna learn a lot. Someone stole bodies from their Great Bank. Stole from a Blood God. A Divine. Vampire been around longer than humanity's recorded history.

This is the kind of stuff they don't tell you at magic school . . .

If they did, none of us would ever go out at night.

THE KING HENRY TAPES
Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released)
Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released)
Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released)
Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released)
Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released)
Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released)
Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (released)
Book 6.5 - "Assault on Dread Fortress Paine" (released)
Book 7 - "The Foul Mouth and the Runaway Rumble" (forthcoming)