X-Calibre — Mark Parker

Comic fantasy collides with Arthurian legend in a riotous romp through the myths and mists of medieval Britain. A sorcerer's apprentice named Cantiger strives earnestly to master his profession in this rollicking, zany tale of medieval adventure. Instead he proves himself to be a most hapless conjurer, first stealing a magic spell from the seductive enchantress Garnish and then, quite by accident, bestowing a serpent's head upon her. Garnish is not pleased, and the bungling Cantiger spends the rest of this comic caper trying to escape her formidable wrath. Along his hilarious path to triumphant absurdity, the clueless Cantiger is not abetted by the host of unsavory creatures he encounters, be they macho warlords or comely witches, giants or dwarfs. He does, however, find an unlikely ally in the Laidly Worm, a ruthless reptile with an inordinate appetite for clotted cream and dishy damsels, who does not fail to burst wildly into action in the nick of time. Of course, this tale of wacky wizardry also features a large stone, a sword, and a hero who is the legendarily rightful heir to the throne of Loonis. Advance praise for X-Calibre: At last, the real story can be told in everyday language a child of ten could understand - and without any rhymes. Of course, it will take a genius to get all the jokes. - Alfred Lord Tennyson, author of Idylls of the King