White Girl Problems — Babe Walker

Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But now her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab--that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys--and she's decided to write her memoir, detailing White Girl Problems such as:

All I want for my birthday is for you to know what I want for my birthday without me having to tell you.

I hate my horse.

I'll eat anything, as long as it's gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic.

No matter what I do, I will never be as strong or thin as Gwyneth.

Hell is a bed with less than six pillows.

Like Cher from Clueless or Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, Babe Walker will annoy, inspire, and endear herself to readers in equal measures.