Victim of Denial — Barbara Yakov

Victor Izes, now thirty years of age, recalls the events leading up to the day he viciously murdered his father less than a decade ago. As he tries to make sense of the madness that gripped his fateful act, he anticipates opening a lengthy letter that he recently received from his former girlfriend �" his very first love �" Bree Yeager. She sent it to the maximum security state hospital where Victor bides his time, waiting for his release back into society, for he is certain that he has regained his sanity. “…Gazing out the window, I witnessed the beauty of the season �" lush and abundant. But where was I? Winter disappeared into spring, and, like winter, I too disappeared. Where was my spring? My winter of delirium remained and grew into an unknown season of psychosis, yielding invisible blossoms, blistering my mind. The condition I experienced is now distinct. And, although I couldn't see it then, I can see it clearly as I look back, like a child looking through a window. I want to shake the fiend out of my body, out of my mind, but it's too late. Any wish I have to return to that moment is wasted. My memory serves me well, however, and I see him �" him that is I, standing before the outset of fear. There he is, Victor Izes, smoking a Chesterfield cigarette in the window of his room, thinking thoughts absurd about a Japanese woodcut and a silent war.”