Upchuck and the Rotten Willy — Bill Wallace

MY NAME IS UPCHUCK.
But please -- pretty please -- just call me Chuck.

Okay, so I've told a few rotten dog jokes. So sue me. But we cats have to hang together in a dog-eat-cat world! I can think of a few nasty poodles and a fanged Doberman I'd like to bite right back. But to tell the truth, I'd rather be smart and scared than brave and scarred.

Everything was okay until my best friend Tom moved. Then My Katie went away to a place called college. I can tell you I was one lonely cat. All I wanted was a new friend, but all I met were a stinky skunk and a stupid cow. I mean, what kind of conversation can you have with a cow who only says "Moo"?

Things were really getting desperate. I started prowling farther and farther away until I fell off a fence one night -- into the yard of a beast as big as a car and black as death. His name was Rotten Willy.

And that's where my real story begins....