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The Dollar Store Lady - Bad Blood!! — Michael D'Agostino
"The Dollar Store Lady - Bad Blood!!" is both a novel and a play, written in a dialogue style for easy, enjoyable reading.
Excite your funny bone with this outrageous comedy that explores the absurdity of excessive shopping, which seems much too common in our modern day society.
Consider Edna our dedicated shopper, the most diligent, obsessed bargain hunter anyone could ever meet. Her home: hand painted little bunnies, miniature porcelain duckies, kissing turtle ash trays, ceramic Dutch family figurines, bobble-head sea horses, a butterfly mobile, a neon rock guitar mobile, a dancing Teddy Bear, a little doggie house, - knick-knacks adorn almost every room of this cozy home on the South Side of Chicago - purchased from flea markets, dollar stores, craft fairs and shows, church bizarres, and every retailer you know, etc. etc., etc.
And she drags her poor husband Fred around to buy all this stuff!! She knows almost every sale before they advertise it. Spend! Spend! Spend! Why? Why? Why? We know she is not doing it on her own. There's a little matter of her older sister, Eleanor, the bad blood of the family. Eleanor's attitude towards Fred: "Of all the gin joints and saloons on the South Side, of all the good people you could have met in your life, you come home with this one." Eleanor encourages her sister to spend all of Fred's money. Poor Fred. He's a common guy, hard-working stiff who actually loves his wife. But who can survive the strain of Edna and Eleanor together, spending and doing things behind his back. That's what really gets him! It's pure pain for Fred.
You guessed it. There is "Trouble in River City," huge trouble in this marriage. They have Fred talking to himself: "Twenty years of marriage, every day a rat race, up in the morning work all day, up in the morning work all day, up in the morning work all day . . . and for what? What's the prize at the end of the line? I'll tell you what the prize is: two raw eggs, charcoal toast, and hair in my coffee . . . And there's a hole in the toe of my sock! Why is there a hole in the toe of my sock? An intelligent workin' man like me has to go to work with a hole in the toe of his sock . . . 'cause my wife don't have time to sew my socks!"
(more from Fred) "Sale!! Now you said it! If the Statue of Liberty was on sale, would you buy that too?! Edna, you spend so much time at those department stores, what do they have there? Weddings or funerals? Or what?"
Read "The Dollar Store - Bad Blood!!" and learn how Edna defends herself successfully, and how the two together repair their marriage. Enjoy this entertaining laugh fest, originally written by Michael D'Agostino.
Excite your funny bone with this outrageous comedy that explores the absurdity of excessive shopping, which seems much too common in our modern day society.
Consider Edna our dedicated shopper, the most diligent, obsessed bargain hunter anyone could ever meet. Her home: hand painted little bunnies, miniature porcelain duckies, kissing turtle ash trays, ceramic Dutch family figurines, bobble-head sea horses, a butterfly mobile, a neon rock guitar mobile, a dancing Teddy Bear, a little doggie house, - knick-knacks adorn almost every room of this cozy home on the South Side of Chicago - purchased from flea markets, dollar stores, craft fairs and shows, church bizarres, and every retailer you know, etc. etc., etc.
And she drags her poor husband Fred around to buy all this stuff!! She knows almost every sale before they advertise it. Spend! Spend! Spend! Why? Why? Why? We know she is not doing it on her own. There's a little matter of her older sister, Eleanor, the bad blood of the family. Eleanor's attitude towards Fred: "Of all the gin joints and saloons on the South Side, of all the good people you could have met in your life, you come home with this one." Eleanor encourages her sister to spend all of Fred's money. Poor Fred. He's a common guy, hard-working stiff who actually loves his wife. But who can survive the strain of Edna and Eleanor together, spending and doing things behind his back. That's what really gets him! It's pure pain for Fred.
You guessed it. There is "Trouble in River City," huge trouble in this marriage. They have Fred talking to himself: "Twenty years of marriage, every day a rat race, up in the morning work all day, up in the morning work all day, up in the morning work all day . . . and for what? What's the prize at the end of the line? I'll tell you what the prize is: two raw eggs, charcoal toast, and hair in my coffee . . . And there's a hole in the toe of my sock! Why is there a hole in the toe of my sock? An intelligent workin' man like me has to go to work with a hole in the toe of his sock . . . 'cause my wife don't have time to sew my socks!"
(more from Fred) "Sale!! Now you said it! If the Statue of Liberty was on sale, would you buy that too?! Edna, you spend so much time at those department stores, what do they have there? Weddings or funerals? Or what?"
Read "The Dollar Store - Bad Blood!!" and learn how Edna defends herself successfully, and how the two together repair their marriage. Enjoy this entertaining laugh fest, originally written by Michael D'Agostino.
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