Singing Elvis Badly — Stephen Jones

Colonel wakes naked and alone in a strange bathroom, not sure where he is or how he got there he starts trying to piece together the night before. Equally confused are his fellow drinkers from the previous evening, Dwarf wakes in a cemetery, Major is shocked to find he is not alone and Beaker is equally shocked to find that he is. As they independently begin to piece parts of the previous night together it becomes clear that seemingly innoculous events from earlier in the week have all compounded on top of one another to dictate each of their fates on that Friday night. Struggling to come to terms with their situations and the realities of their actions an intricate maze starts to link all four of their lots together. The lives of farming students at university often tend to get a little wild but it was clear to all involved that something out of the ordinary had occurred. Just what links an Elvis song, a turd on a skylight, a floral dress, a tippex pot and an empty marmite jar? What on Earth has happened to the Colonel? And why is it so important that he gets to hospital? All of this in the week preceeding the Countryside March in London too, dare Beaker tell the others he has no interest in going?