Secrets of the Wholly Grill — Lawrence G. Townsend

Freezer-wrapped sirloin tips, secret sauce, and info-tech giant ThinkSoft combine in this satirical novel, rife with tones of Vonnegut and Huxley. Lenny Milton, loyal user of ThinkSoft products, opens his mailbox one day to find a package marked “Perishable.” Inside are flash-frozen sirloin tips. Instantly famished, and thrilled to receive another gift from ThinkSoft, Lenny can't wait to fire up his grill. But there's a warning on the package: By breaking the seal and accessing the Wholly Grill marinated meat, you agree that the aforesaid meat will be promptly cooked on the Wholly Grill Outdoor Cooking Information System (“The System”) and only on the System. Lenny bites the bait, but then he can't log on to ThinkSoft's overloaded network to start the grill. When he gives up and cooks the meat on his trusty old Weber, he breaks the user agreement, thereby unleashing the fury of the tech gods. The results, ranging from exploding flavor crystals that blind Lenny's dog, to a class action suit against ThinkSoft with riotously funny courtroom scenes, to a dangerous investigation into ThinkSoft founder Art Newman by plucky reporter Persi Valentino, will have readers laughing out loud and thinking twice about software purchases and end user agreements, not to mention barbecues.