Salesman from Mars — Walter Knight

The inmates are running the asylum as Donald Crisp the Third takes over as the main character in the ongoing space opera featuring thrills, chills, and spills in the United States Galactic Foreign Legion. With General Manny Lopez calling the shots, things can only go from inane to insane â€" and Czerinski just throws up his hands as Donald Crisp charges ineptly onto the scene. A salesman from a long line of salesmen, Crisp is down on his luck and short on cash. Leave it to a USGF Foreign Legion recruitment ATM to make a deal he can't refuse ... a little loan with big consequences. Crisp and his buddies, former Microsoft engineer Tony Pierce and former spider miner Shaky Jake, find themselves enlisted in the USGF Foreign Legion. Czerinski's never one to give up on a grudge, so the three take the chill off at planet New Colorado's South Pole, and later make a big splash in croc-infested Caldera Lake. Crisp's ineptitude shines as he practices his salesman charms on the eternally irate spider commander. Oranges for scorpions, semi-sentient penguins, biting Blue Lizards, and ghosts from the past all make life difficult for Crisp as he does his best to survive while trying to escape the sharp edge of the Grim Reaper's scythe. Despite all his near misses, the Grim Reaper doesn't give up, and neither do the laughs in this thirteenth installment of the whacky military space opera.