No Thanks, Simon! — Donald W. Kruse

No Thanks, Simon! is the hilarious yet heartwarming story about a toddler named Simon who makes Dennis the Menace look like a choirboy. But he's only two years old---how bad can it be? What could possibly go wrong with a jar of peanut butter; finger paints; scissors; a mouse; a snake; a can of worms; a trumpet; a giant, man-eating cricket; or a ghost---in the hands of Simon? Plenty! No wonder Mom and Dad and Simon's 12-year-old sister try to avoid him like the plague. Unfortunately for the sister, one Saturday morning Mom and Dad decide to do some shopping and order Simon's sister to stay home and babysit Simon. Say what? Immediately she throws herself on the floor, wrapping her arms around Dad's ankles, pleading with Mom and Dad to let her do the shopping instead---anything to keep her from staying home alone wth the dreaded Simon. But Mom and Dad are no fools. They know their rights (and their authority) and they walk out the front door, leaving the poor girl behind ... with Simon! Instantly the misadventures begin with Simon locking himself inside the bathroom. Uh-oh! Do we hear water running? Join the fun and try to keep up as Simon leads us (and his sister) through one fast-paced antic after another, eventually ending up in the attic, face to face with an angry ghost who scares the daylights out of Simon's sister. But that ghost is no match for Simon, who steps in and saves his sister in a way that only Simon could do. Told in verse and illustrated throughout with full-color illustrations by Donny Crank, No Thanks, Simon! will delight and entertain readers and listeners ages 4 and up. Featuring a foreword by child actress Jeanne Russell and an introduction by legendary comedian Marty Allen.