My Brootal Poni — Lotus Rose

Meet Brogene, a very butch equine individual who enjoys wearing a sweater tied around his neck. He once had a very traumatic episode with a fire cheese doodle, so now he just wants to live a quiet undead life. But things are about to change for him. Yes, he must go on a quest for the Dark Princess. A quest for caulk. And so he sets off for Butch Valley, a mythical valley filled with mancaves where only the extremely butch are allowed. That means, no girls!
   When he gets there, he has to deal with blue creatures called the Funs and the only female in their village, an odd yellow guy named Cap-Man, and oh yeah, his greatest frenemy, Dust. And at one point he acquires a magical codpiece. But even though the codpiece is cool and all, Brogene doesn't like adventures and quests. It reminds him of the incident with the Flaming Red Giant's fire cheese doodle. It was how he died in the first place. And that was no fun.
   Maybe if he can get this quest over with, he can return to the loving arms of his Princess and go on being super-butch. If you want to, you can call him bro. He likes that.
   This book is not recommended for children. Guess why. Because this ain't your little sister's book about butch undead ponies!