Mermaid;The Other Other White Meat — Barton Grover Howe

It begins with refugee status in New Jersey, trapped amidst crunchy toilet paper and blowhard New Yorkers, before moving on to the worst disaster never to strike the Oregon Coast. It must be time to get "Beach Slapped" again, with Amazon bestseller Barton Grover Howe. With everything from offering tips on how to survive a hard-core evacuation during breakfast, ("Mimosas made entirely with Jack Daniels") to the disappointment of getting all dressed up for Armageddon with no place to go, ("Well, that was a crappy Rapture. Crapture, anyone?") Howe once again boldly goes where writers with taste rarely do. Throw in the random observations of his one-year-old daughter, ("About 90 percent of the time, I wake up in a different place than where I fell asleep. It's like living Lindsey Lohan's life.") It's a life at its stupidest -- and funniest.

It's another year of impending disaster and babies on the move -- often at the same time -- and all the other things that keep leaving readers "Beach Slapped" as Barton once again gives readers 52 reasons -- 54, actually; it was a very long time in New Jersey -- to laugh out loud.