Jagged Heart — Pamela Taeuffer

JAGGED HEART DESCRIPTION TEEN & YOUNG ADULT/COMING OF AGE CONTEMPORARY FICTION WOMEN'S CONTEMPORARY LITERARY FICTION SERES Swept into a romance with professional baseball player, Ryan Tilton, we just had an evening of dreams-until I wouldn't have sex with him. I couldn't risk it. To me, sex means marriage. It means love and forever. I tried to explain. I didn't hide it. But to him, it means love, acceptance, and that he wouldn't be abandoned the same way he was when a boy of fourteen and his father was killed in the Middle East. He's pleaded with me to tell him my feelings and openly tells me he loves me. I can't repeat the words. Once I do, he'll abandon me just like my parents-discounting my feelings because they can't deal with their own. I couldn't risk it. I knew he'd leave. Dad battles his alcoholism. Mom embraces her co-dependency. They've gambled with their daughters' mental and physical safety multiple times over the years. I'm at a crossroads trying to understand this threshold of being an adult, yet emerging from childhood. It's as if a tornado has taken me into it's roar spun and tossed me around, breaking me away as I cling to the twisted security of my family-even the word "secure" sends a shiver through me. I've never been. Being raised in an dysfunctional family battling alcoholism whispers, stay hidden in the shadows, be safe, don't be noticed or share too much. I know this is it. I need to take a risk. I need to let go of old fears, forgive my parents, embrace intimacy and move forward. I need to trust-especially myself-so that I can transition into joy. "I am pleased a series like Broken Bottles is being written, showing the serious, yet joyful and difficult journey toward intimacy. If often takes a lifetime for a child from family dysfunction to open their heart and embrace the rise and fall of love. The beauty and honesty of this series takes my breath away." Louise Monahan, M.S., MFT