I Went to Vassar for This? — Naomi Neale

How exactly did a microwave mishap blast a hip and sassy modern-day Manhattanite back to 1959? Cathy Voorhees has no idea. But even without her trusty PalmPilot, she can still manage to sort through any trouble with a list.

REASONS TO STAY -- REASONS TO GO (if I knew how)

1. These clothes give me a killer figure. -- 1. Two words: granny panties.

2. I can change history--save JFK, end racism, break the glass ceiling! -- 2. The only history you know is from VH1.

3. At least here I don't have to work for a shortsighted fuddy-duddy anymore. -- 3. Yes, now you have a boss who thinks goosing is appropriate office behavior.

4. I wish our landlord would goose me. He's dreamy. -- 4. Maybe if you wow him with predictions of the future, he'll at least ask you out.

5. Or commit me to an institution. -- 5. Oooh, padded walls could be fun...