Elliot and the Goblin War — Jennifer A. Nielsen

As of today, there are only seven children who have ever read this book and lived to tell about it. Ninety five children successfully read the first chapter, but upon beginning Chapter Two, they started blabbering in some language known only as "flibberish," which makes it very hard to tell their parents why they can't finish their homework. The only thing known for sure about those who read the final chapters of this book is that something in Chapter Fifteen seems to make body parts fall off. Read it now, if you dare. But don't say you haven't been warned, for this is the story that unfolds the mysteries of the Underworld.