A Texas Tail — Jeff Guinn

"If you're from Texas, then you probably know someone like this." Plunk Landy's dreams are the same as many middle-aged Texas men—he imagines the Dallas Cowboys finally ending their Super Bowl drought, enjoying the temperate love of a beautiful woman, owning a top-end Ford 150 truck and a gun, of course, and finding some way to become important. Instead, Plunk's life consists of a dead-end job, an addiction to televised sports and Fox News (what he thinks of as "dates with himself"), and no notoriety at all beyond a lingering reputation as an oddball in the Fort Worth suburb where he grew up and still lives. However, when Plunk stumbles across a unique Halloween costume in a local shop, he suddenly finds himself on a path to obtaining everything he ever yearned for, and maybe more. So far, Plunk Landy has never amounted to much, but as Tail Man, he intends to conquer his home state first and then blaze a proud Texas path across the rest of the country, especially through Woke snake pits like Los Angeles and New York City.  Will Plunk's dreams come true, or will he learn, as have many before him, that the worst fate in life is almost getting everything you always wanted? That's the tale told here—or, perhaps, the tail.