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A Door I'll Never Enter — H.C. Turk
-
Published:
Jul-2013 -
Formats:
eBook -
Main Genre:
Fantasy -
Time Period:
Contemporary -
Rating:
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THESE ENTITIES:
â�,�¢A man whose smile can stop the sun.
â�,�¢A woman who is Mother To All.
â�,�¢A guide sent to bring them together.
ARE ALSO:
â�,�¢A man created to destroy Earth.
â�,�¢A woman hired to bear his assassin.
â�,�¢An automaton sent to ensure their success.
BUT APPEAR TO BE:
â�,�¢A man who never returns shopping carts.
â�,�¢A woman with a bad job on a worse vacation.
â�,�¢One of the Little People.
COMING TOGETHER, THEY TRAVEL TO:
â�,�¢A farm where interstellar comets are grown.
â�,�¢A sunken ship being raised to the surface of time.
â�,�¢The core of Hell, where the torture is tickling.
THEIR GOAL IS TO:
â�,�¢Write a shopping list that makes sense.
â�,�¢Fix her broken fingernail.
â�,�¢Find a hidden pot of watermelons.
THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS ARE:
â�,�¢Giving a face to ultimate doom.
â�,�¢Finally getting a call through to Luna.
â�,�¢Bonding with fruit.
A cross-genre literary novel of contemporary fantasy, magic realism, and jaw-dropping hilarity, A DOOR I'LL NEVER ENTER follows the adventures of Bill, Jane, Dan, and their interstellar comet (disguised as a watermelon) as they travel from kitchen sink to cannibal canoe in search of a Leprechaun's pot of FAIL. Finding friendship on the way, they learn that failure might be best when the goal is ultimate destruction.
â�,�¢A man whose smile can stop the sun.
â�,�¢A woman who is Mother To All.
â�,�¢A guide sent to bring them together.
ARE ALSO:
â�,�¢A man created to destroy Earth.
â�,�¢A woman hired to bear his assassin.
â�,�¢An automaton sent to ensure their success.
BUT APPEAR TO BE:
â�,�¢A man who never returns shopping carts.
â�,�¢A woman with a bad job on a worse vacation.
â�,�¢One of the Little People.
COMING TOGETHER, THEY TRAVEL TO:
â�,�¢A farm where interstellar comets are grown.
â�,�¢A sunken ship being raised to the surface of time.
â�,�¢The core of Hell, where the torture is tickling.
THEIR GOAL IS TO:
â�,�¢Write a shopping list that makes sense.
â�,�¢Fix her broken fingernail.
â�,�¢Find a hidden pot of watermelons.
THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS ARE:
â�,�¢Giving a face to ultimate doom.
â�,�¢Finally getting a call through to Luna.
â�,�¢Bonding with fruit.
A cross-genre literary novel of contemporary fantasy, magic realism, and jaw-dropping hilarity, A DOOR I'LL NEVER ENTER follows the adventures of Bill, Jane, Dan, and their interstellar comet (disguised as a watermelon) as they travel from kitchen sink to cannibal canoe in search of a Leprechaun's pot of FAIL. Finding friendship on the way, they learn that failure might be best when the goal is ultimate destruction.
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