May Be Recycled — Jonathan Meres

Norm knew it was going to be one of those days when he woke up and nothing happened ...

Home alone and the fridge to himself? What could possibly go wrong? Well, apart from the snails. And having to hang his mum's pants out to dry. And the dreaded perfect cousins paying a visit. And worst of all, the entire family going vege-flipping-tarian! But apart from that, what could possibly go wrong?

You'd think Norm would know better by now, wouldn't you?
ABSO-FLIPPING-LUTELY!