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She's amazing.

I know that sounds cliche, but it's one hundred percent true.

She's so funny and smart and beautiful and…amazing.

I have it so bad for her, and I thought for a moment she liked me too.

Then I realized what I thought was a sign of her liking me was actually a sign she was sliding me into the dreaded friend zone.

I fu@king hate the friend zone.

I was so close to winning her over, and then that roughneck came along, pushing me even further into the zone.

Just like a mechanic, he has qualities I could never possess -- like working with a wrench. I could hold a wrench for a photograph and no woman would drool over me.

Alas, that's the life of a protection agent. Sure, I have rippling muscles and can kill a guy with my bare hands, but I could never compete with this illusion women have about greasy men.

And to make matters worse, I said she could stay with me.

That's right. I am officially the stupidest man ever.

I've doomed myself to a life of fantasies that will never be fulfilled, all because I can't stop picturing that beautiful, thick hair cascading over her shoulders like a waterfall.

Like I said…

I have it bad, and there's no way out for me.
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