The Pipwink Papers

You'd think that if he had the nerve to despoil Charles Dickens, he'd get the spelling of The Pickwick Papers right. It's not even about The Pickwick Papers but the great man's Great Expectations. He couldn't even get that right. The unidentified Editor of The Pipwink Papers writes that this document is ‘a remarkable story about greed, international intrigue, espionage, depravity, corruption and wholesale murder in high places -- without which a certain package of fabulous Surnev diamonds from the 1943 shoot-down of a Dutch airliner might never have been known to have gone missing'. He goes on: ‘On his way to becoming one of our most internationally-famous stars of stage and screen, the author Philip P. (Pip) Pirip describes a pageant of characters as finely drawn as if by Charles Dickens himself. They include Miss Havisham, the beautiful Estella, the lawyer Jaggers and the shadowy Bentley Drummle. Then there is his own darling wife Biddy, plus those two arch villains Compeyson and Orlick, who remain nameless. Together with a host of others, they weave a rich tapestry of a star-studded diamond-crazed world few of us could have ever imagined possible to write about like this. ‘Though this book also contains many previously unpublished songs by Pip Pirip that warrant rocks, yet what will perhaps live longest in our memories are his lyrical description of his native Australia – the chattering of the rhinoceroses right down to the chirpy little greetings of the cheeky little piranhas frolicking during their Down-Under summer hols. Little wonder.' (Ends abruptly, seems to.) ----------- About the author. Charles Dickens never knew him.