Saving Jane Austen

Jane Austen did not die in 1817. Her head and neck were miraculously preserved at a Cryonics facility in Zurich, Switzerland (formerly Swisserland). Recently discovered (September 10, 2010), the famed authoress has been revived and has returned to reside in her beloved England and at last begun a new novel, entitled Regency Scenes of Dissipation and Vice. However, the burning literary question is can she finish her novel when her tranquility, her civility, and even her very life are threatened by the contemporary dangers surrounding her at rented Austen House. These include Hans-Axl, her neo-Nazi care-giver, the Sharia-loving fundamentalists next door, blatant libertines everywhere, the filthy paparazzi hounding Miss Austen, and worse. All she has to assist her are a butch lesbian amanuensis and a ninety-year-old American rare book dealer, and perhaps the Internet. Told in e-mails, this book contains a tale that combines both quaint Regency charm and a good deal of modern edge.