Fatal Light Awareness — John O'Neill

This is a beautifully written novel. It's a road trip with POV one man's fantasy life while he searches for "weight" in his everyday life. Readers will see themselves mirrored in the protagonist's most petty and picayune thoughts and acts, perhaps men more than women, most of whom never even guess the depth and breadth of male lust. The weight of desire. We have an antihero who is a revolting man. A stalker and a peeping Tom, he's also weak, selfish, self-absorbed to the point of near-insanity and describes the unravelling of his tidy married childless life this way: "I'm just trying to parlay lust into a lifestyle".