Diary of a Monster's Son — Ellen Conford

When I wake up this morning, I hear my father whistling in the bathroom.

The door is open, so I go in.

He is standing in front of the mirror, combing his hair.

Good morning, Bradley," he says. "Isn't this a beautiful day?”

I wish I had hair like my father's. It's long and dark and thick. My hair is short and light and stubby. It is only on my head.

I watch as he brushes his teeth. My father has outstanding teeth. They are big and pointy and white. The two on the sides come way down over his bottom lip.

He is very proud of them. He polishes them three times a day and sees the dentist twice a year.

"Take care of your fangs," he always says, "and your fangs will take care of you."

So begins another typical day in the Fentriss household. If you want to know more about the funny adventures of this untypical typical family, begin again from page 1...