Too Weird to Publish 2016 — Multiple Authors

This is an amazing collection of hardcore hetero and gay er*tica whose themes are brand-new, completely unique and so sexy you'll forget how to have normal sex! Inside you'll find five complete stories that are erotic in ways you never thought possible. There's an apple deriving carnal delights from being eaten, sexy toothbrushing one of those hunky Melanesian bamboo musicians, a SJW-and-altright domination fantasy, and the hottest thimble you ever thumbled!

The authors who contributed to this collection are from the amazing and supportive community at /r/er*ticauthors, and all proceeds from this bundle will be sent to charity.

Wet, Hot and Minty Fresh - Four out of five dentists agree: this is the sexiest toothbrushing er*tica you'll ever read! It's a short tale of dental desire and oral… hygiene, featuring a woman who never thought men could use their mouths for sex (at least, not in this way). Your hands will never smell as minty fresh as they do after reading this outrageous short story of hetero lust!

Missy the Thimble - Kate has found a new lover, and it's a thimble! The newest object of her love, lust and affection is a perfectly crafted bone china thimble, as delicate and graceful as a pirouette on Pluto. How far will their erotic adventure go?

Pegging the Patriarchy - Politics has never been this sexy! Sandra is a consensually-dominant person who identifies as a woman, and her partner today is an alt-right stud who submits to the pegging of an electoral lifetime. She asks for permission before hugging trees; he denies the existence of permission, and together they're about to have the steamiest sex to hit America since James K. Polk!

Pacific Trade: The Solomon Islander Stud - Conrad's latest adventure in rough trade is every gay man's favorite fantasy -- servicing a hot Melanesian alpha male musical star! He's in the Solomon Islands, tracking down a bamboo band to record and promising to pay this macho player's bride price in exchange for a swing and a tug. How far will this Solomon Islander first-time gay-4-pay stud go?

Lust of the Apple Queen: This apple is a glorious fruit, and its consumption will blow your mind! It's the Apple Queen; it's beauty will shock and amaze you. Its voyage unto its own devouring is a sharply erotic journey that will leave you wet, sticky and quivering!