The Problem With Here Is That It's Where I'm From — Jim Benton

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE ELSEWHERE.
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE ELSEWHERE.
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE ELSEWHERE.

Dear Dumb Diary,
Beautiful glorious news! Today they told us that something went stinkfully wrong with the heating or ventilation system or something over at Wodehouse Middle School. .. . They're bussing the kids to different nearby schools, and Mackerel Middle School is one of them.

I'm THRILLED that foreigners are coming. I love people who aren't from here! And I'll bet they're all pretty excited that they're not from here, too...